Hospital adventures

Before settling in Warsaw, I was here regularly and on one day I had such a pain that I needed medical care.

O cholera
First we went to a private clinic as I needed help fast. When examining me the doctor said the famous words: "O cholera". Then I realized I was in shit...for the non-Polish readers, "o cholera" did not mean I had cholera, it's just a Polish expression like "oh lord" or "oh my goodness." ;-)

After talking to a surgeon she sent me to a public hospital in city center, as I needed specific small surgery which they offered there.

Language barrier

After surgery I had to stay longer. They would not let me go until I finished a few antibiotics treatments.

None of the sisters spoke English, so that was going to be fun I thought. I got the surgery pretty fast and was recovering in my room. A sister entered asking me something. I did not have a clue what she asked. She left again.

Before I knew it there were 7 or 8 sisters in my room asking the same question using different words and giving all kinds of hand signals. "Nie rozumiem" I answered (which means I do not understand in Polish). Then one started to talk really slow and loud, like I was deaf. Laughing hurted but this was hilarious.

Then one came next to my bed, put a hand on her belly acting a face full of agony saying auaaaa. With a questioning face she asked again, "boli"? So they tried to ask me if I had pain! I was glad I could understand now and answered that I was fine. "Nie boli, dziękuję" (no pain, thank you). Like I said before, learning Polish is hard work.

Daily visitors

Besides my lovely wife, who visited me every single day, there were more daily visits apart from medical personnel.

Every day a priest knocked my door, he only spoke Polish. Very friendly man. I guess he visited Rome before because he just said one word to me every day: "Ciao!". And we would wave to each other.

Also, 3 to 4 times per day an elderly lady would knock my door. She was lonely, did not have any family or friends coming. We did not speak each other's language but we talked. No she talked and I listened and nodded.

Especially for me they used Legia colors

Balas

A few days later, after switching another bag of antibiotics to the dripper,  a sister asked me something again. I did not have a clue what she meant. Other sisters joined and played the pantomime game again.

After a while I recognized something, the word "siu siu", which means pee. So they either asked me how much I peed that day or if they should help me getting to the toilet. I just answered: "pół litra", which means half a litre. They started to look helpless, and responded "nie siu siu!", and then some other words. Then the penny dropped, they wanted to know if I had taken a shit! But I forgot the Polish word for stool and had enough of it. So I spoke the famous words:

"Nie balas teraz dzięki".

Balas is a word that I learned but it is really not a word to use in a serious conversation, really inappropriate. I was answering something like: "no monster turd now thank you." They laughed in a such a way that they knew enough now and left.

The last days were easier as a new sister was scheduled in, she just finished school and spoke English. 

What an experience...and I did not even mention the food! I am not a person omplaining about food very quickly, but my goodness this was something...

Contestant for the saddest breakfast ever

A lovely cold "Carbonara"

I am glad my wife was there every day,
she smuggled good food inside for me.

I hope you enjoyed to read this, an unforgettable experience.